One of the disadvantages of having pay TV here is that – while we pay an extraordinary amount of money to get it – they don’t actually have anything I want to watch.

Two things I liked to watch occasionally on cable TV in Australia were the Formula 1 and the USA PGA Golf. Here both those things are on the ‘Premium’ channels to which our current monthly king’s ransom does not entitle us.

Here I get snooker, darts, ‘speedway’ (which is boys going round sideways on dirt tracks) and endless – ENDLESS tennis.

I find watching tennis on TV unbearable - and as for going to a game - well I would rather go into a church with Cate!

The Eurosport channels apparently shows every match in every tournament in the universe and just showed every excruciating ball hit in the French open thingy.

This was apparently won by Roger Federer who people are saying is the best tennis player in the history of the world.

I don’t know that I would call someone who cries after every match (win or lose) a good player let alone the world’s best ever player. He appears to be an emotional wreck.

Ken Rosewall and Lew Hoad would never have done this.

And anyway – the only reason he won was because someone they call Rafa broke both legs earlier and didn’t make the final – because every time Rafa meets the Fed he flogs him mercilessly (and the Fed cries).

I HATE watching tennis – so don’t.

I am certainly not watching the Ouagadougou Open next week – or Wimbledon (which goes FOREVER).

Incidentally there is now a girl playing tennis who grunts so loudly that the other players complain. Now that is loud!

I have never understood why they allow the girls to grunt. Apparently it is intended to put the other player off her game – and if this is the case the new one has turned it into an art form because her opponent turned into a blubbering wreck and has had to go back to grunting school to improve her technique.

Anyway – I now watch the European golf tour which is not so bad. Cate thinks it is complete rubbish but then she thinks all sport is complete rubbish. She only watches quality TV such as Desperate Housewives.

I can watch the Formula 1 on local TV with German commentary. I am adapting.

So on the weekend the 20/20 Cricket tournament started. Surprisingly - this is on the TV we pay for and no one so far has asked for more money.

As I expected – Australia got hammered. First by the West Indies and then by Sri Lanka.

This is hardly surprising as Andrew Symonds was the only Australian player capable of hitting the ball more than 50 metres – and they sent him home for having a quiet beer after training.

Now – call me old fashioned – but I would rather have someone who stays out late drinking and wins cricket games - than a team that plays Pinochle and goes to bed early after a hot chocolate – and then loses badly.

It was also apparent that some of the Australian players were seeing spin bowling for the first time and were completely mesmerised by this strange phenomenon. They really should give them some practice before they get here – that’s what I would do – and bring back Merv Hughes.

Today or tomorrow Ricky Ponting will say that the 20/20 tournament was not important and that they are really here for the Ashes series – (in which they should also get pummelled because they really are a badly led, second rate side and the only thing that may save them is that England is usually worse).

As this is a family Blog I will not go into detail about David Carradine except to say that he has been much maligned about his little peccadilloes.

I mean – I have often been in one of Cate’s wardrobes - with her underwear - thinking about the possibilities.

Of course you can’t stand in Cate’s wardrobes so they are obviously not as big as the ones in hotels in Bangkok but – you know – when you see all that underwear and all those coat hangers – you think about things.