Recently my diary has been markedly empty. To the point I have had a series of days go by where I didn't open it because I knew there was nothing in it.
And now, all of a sudden through a confluence (can I just say how much I LOVE that word?) of events, it's scarily full.
Scary because I'm trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to manage.
On the same morning I had two important calls. One offering me semi-regular, highly flexible work, the other offering me a place at University to start a Masters Degree in Theology.
Of course I accepted both offers and spent the rest of the day euphoric.
And now I have a sick, churning feeling in the pit of my stomach.
How the hell am I going to do this?
The degree will be done part time and they have said I can do it externally. But truly and really, I have to be so disciplined and now I'm here, I'm scared. I've made the conscious decision not to look at it as a degree. instead I'm just going to say: "Yeah I'm just doing a couple of units at Uni" (insert bravado tone here) That way, it's not so overwhelming.
The work thing requires military precision planning. This isn't helped by the fact I have literally no family back-up. Ironic I have two sets of retired grandparents and both sets are so busy they can't help out with their grandchildren at all. So I'm trying to book sitters well in advance and hoping that goes ok. DH has to travel a fair bit over the next couple of months so I can't ask him either.
It would be fair to say at this point that I could simply have said: "No." And you would be right. But saying "No" just doesn't feel right to me.
And finally, I am working on planning the wedding and with my brother on a very special project which I will share more with you soon.
Throw in the running training and ahem, three small, adorably demanding offspring and a husband and my metaphorical plate is full.
So I could have a small but significant flip-out at this point, or take up drinking copious quantities of wine.
But I won't.
I'll just keep doing my best. Because in a few months time the diary will be emptier again and then I'll be complaining about having nothing to do.
ps what's on your plate at the moment? Seriously, I'm interested.