Last Friday I nailed my first pedestrian while I was cycling. I don’t mean nailed in the sense of Bill Clinton nailing interns in the White House. I mean nailed as in collided with. And with some degree of force.
I was beetling along Karlsplatz minding my own business and thinking about something innocuous - maybe life under President Palin or tying Glenn Beck to a Saturn Five rocket and sending him into space - when a plump plonker stepped from behind a bush - onto the cycle path - and into my trajectory.
My urgent evasive action was inadequate and there was a loud ‘ploomfp’ as I thudded into his ample proportions and bounced back onto the pavement upside down where I lay flailing on my back like a distressed turtle.
I hit my head but not too hard and as I was wearing a helmet there was no lasting damage. Blubber Guts was unharmed but leant over me and I knew that if he over balanced and sat on me it would be curtains so I recovered my composure quickly and went on my way.
Most Viennese cyclists do not wear helmets. They are fools. Something like this can happen at any time and and if I had not been wearing a helmet I would have give myself a nasty whack. Possibly concussion and lasting brain damage. I could have ended up as a Republican senator or an anchor on Fox.
On the weekend we had the ‘Genuss’ festival in Stadtpark. ‘Genuss’ is a bit hard for me to translate so that it means what it should in German - but let’s call it ‘enjoyment’ - in the context of food and wine. Merisi can expand on this for me.
It is a collection of food and wine from all over Austria. There are hordes of little booths selling cheeses, meats, mustards, jams, oils and every other thing from every part of this fine country.
The most popular places are the ones selling wine. Hordes of people drink fabulous wine and blow smoke over each other and the passers by. It is a bit hazardous for us in these types of places because there are more smokers than non-smokers so we have difficulty escaping the clouds of toxic gasses being exhaled as we pass through.
I must say that the smoking thing is becoming a bit wearing for us. As the weather is warmer every outdoor cafe and restaurant is infested with smokers blowing their vile muck over each other and us. It really does make it difficult so we only go to places that we know are entirely smoke free.
