You know how there are players who, for whatever reason, don't get cards? And how other players get more than one card in the same set? Inexplicably, Oliver Perez fits into neither of these categories, though a strong case could be made for both.

Why Oliver Perez Deserves More Than One Card: Okay, really the only way Perez would ever get two cards in one set is if Topps made a subset called Underwhelming and Overpaid. The Perez, Gil Meche, Hiroki Kuroda, and Gary Matthews, Jr., fan clubs would squeal with delight over a special card, that would also come in a special premium parallel made of curved, mealy cardboard.

Why Oliver Perez Deserves Zero Cards: He makes $4,938.27 for every strike he throws this season. Oh wait, he's on the DL and can't throw strikes anyway.

WEAK PULL!!!