I have been thinking about the things that people - and women in particular - will say about Julia Gillard as Prime Minister - that they would never say about a man.
I cannot possibly think of all of these things myself but have put down some dead certainties. Perhaps you can help me with others.
Firstly, we will hear endlessly about how Julia assassinated Kevin Rudd. The callous, ambitious, self-serving bitch. How dare she do what has been done in political parties since time began. But - she is a - gasp splutter - girl!
Tony Abbott, Leader of the Opposition has been banging on about this traitorous act - blithely ignoring the fact that he did precisely this to the former Leader of the Opposition just some months ago.
It is a long tradition in the Federal Parliament that the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition spend a lot of time verbally tearing each other to shreds.
It used to be verbal jousting - but now it is both vicious and visceral.
It is particularly so with Tony Abbott who is a bible bashing, tub thumping Catholic and is a nasty, lying, pious, poisonous prick who does a remarkably good job of hiding any signs of his ‘christianity’ -whatever that is.
He is the the type of man who, had I not abandoned the catholic faith a long time ago, would prompt me to tear up my membership card, burn it, piss on the ashes and post them to the vatican.
Julia is a particularly robust debater and will tear Abbott to shreds in Parliament. When she now does this as Prime Minister she will be accused of being aggressive or non feminine or - a particularly good epithet developed for Hillary Clinton - shrill.
This was extended to ‘Shrillary” and used extensively by Hillary’s opponents - on both sides of the political fence.
We have had some snappy dressers as Prime Ministers and Leaders of the Opposition. Paul Keating was dressed by Ermenegildo Zegna and always looked the part. John Howard always look like a dropped pie - that was just the way his suit clung to him. Alexander Downer looked like a Walrus that had been lying in the sun for too long without using moisturizer.
None of these attracted any comment at any stage on their appearance or dress.
There will be endless commentary on Julia’s clothing, hair styles, make up and every other damn thing they can think of. I can see the headlines now
‘Julia’s fashion faux pas’,
‘Julia shouldn't wear grey’.
‘Oh Julia - what were you thinking?’
‘Bad Hair day for Julia’
The tragedy is that it will be mainly women who write this tripe - and they have done hatchet jobs on every female leader we have had in Australia.
We have had Prime Ministers who looked like garden gnomes, cockatoos, chimney sweeps and Italian pimps. We have had Prime Ministers who were barely literate - who were myopic troglodytes - marginally rising above pond life - but chosen by the system to lead.
But they were men and this was expected.
New benchmarks will be designed for Julia - as they are for most women leaders
Ms Thatcher being a rare exception because she always was ahead of the game - (in a sort of terrifying ‘I am trapped on this spaceship with a big hairy fangy slobbering Conservative Alien who is going to wrap me in a cocoon and suck me as dry as a corn husk’ type of way).
Julia is very well educated, intelligent, erudite, witty, passionate, committed, dedicated, focused - and it will not be enough.
‘A man would do this better’ they will say.
‘Julia is too emotional’ they will say - or even better - if she is not - ‘Why doesn’t Julia display emotion?
And the killers - to be discussed endlessly
Why isn’t Julia married?
‘It’s just not right, I don’t understand it, a woman that age - not married - it’s not natural’
‘And she has never had children. How can she possibly understand the needs of a family if she has never had children. You cannot trust a woman who has not had children she is just not - you know - complete.’
‘Oh - and she doesn’t even go to church. How can you trust someone who doesn’t go to church. I mean - who does she pray to?'
‘You know she was a union lawyer. You can’t trust those union people they are out to ruin the country’.
‘Did you know that Julia helped make St Petersburg a sister city to Melbourne. That’s in Russia you know. They are communists there and they don’t believe in god either’.
‘My Auntie Enid knows someone who knows a friend of a friend of Julia’s and she says that Julia is pagan who sacrifices goats in her lounge room. No dear - I don’t really know what a pagan is - I think it is some type of football supporter. No I am not sure what type of goats dear - they may have been sheep’
It’s enough to make you vomit. But she will call an election soon and I for one will go the Australian Embassy to vote for her.
The though of that verminous little crucifix-sucking crud-busting toe-rag Tony Abbott leading Australia makes me break out in a rash.
