Gotcha!


The post headline is indeed a story in the Austrian Independent. I shall not elaborate because anyone who cannot cook a rissole without creating chaos needs no publicity from me.


Because it has been a particularly grueling weekend in terms of World Cup matches - and because Maalie made some particularly pertinent and hurtful remarks in response to my friendly post about English football - I am not going to attempt to do anything except regale you with a couple of stories.


We know by now that people who live in Arizona are different. This from CNN a week or so ago:


“RENO, Nev. -- Voters dressed in chicken costumes won't be allowed inside Nevada polling places this year.

State election officials on Friday added chicken suits to the list of banned items after weeks of ridicule directed at Republican Senate candidate Sue Lowden.

The millionaire casino executive and former beauty queen recently suggested that people barter with doctors for medical care, like when "our grandparents would bring a chicken to the doctor."

Democrats responded by setting up a website, "Chickens for Checkups," and by sending volunteers in chicken suits to her campaign events”.

When a State adds chicken suits to a lost of things banned at polling booths - I think we are in trouble.

The people from Louisiana are also different: This from CNN:


“Louisiana's state senate has designated today a statewide day of prayer in response to the Gulf oil spill.

"Thus far efforts made by mortals to try to solve the crisis have been to no avail," state Sen. Robert Adley said in a statement. "It is clearly time for a miracle for us."

Well that should do the job. Look at the Crackerjack job prayer has done for all our previous problems. Hmmm....let me count the ways.

And just to prove that life is stranger than fiction.

Independent US Senator Joe Lieberman has (apparently seriously) proposed that the President have the power to shut down the Internet in cases of emergency.

Titled "Protecting Cyberspace as a National Asset Act", the bill stipulates any internet firms and providers must "immediately comply with any emergency measure or action developed" by a new section of the US Department of Homeland Security, dubbed the "National Centre for Cybersecurity and Communications".

I am not quite sure what Joe has in mind. he obviously does not know how the Internet works - and so is in good company with the Australian Minister for Communications.

But - I can envisage a big double-handled switch in the President’s coat cupboard. You know the handles I mean - they use them whenever they are electrocuting baddies (or goodies) in black and white films. The warden stands there with his left hand on the big handle - staring at the clock on the wall. The seconds tick down - agonizingly - we wait for the last 60 seconds as the second hand sweeps around the clock. The convicted man squirms in the chair - seat drips from the brow of the priest in the front row of the glass walled viewing chamber - the convicted man’s mother sobs quietly being comforted by the murdered man’s wife. 5 seconds to go - the phone jangles

"Hello my name's Jason from Telstra we are having a special offer this week on iPhone plans - can you spare me five minutes to talk about this?"

"Sure Jason I would love an iPhone, just give me sixty seconds - hold the line"

Zap, Pop, Fizzle.

I am sure Joe is just having a lend of us - I mean look at the picture.

Gotcha with this one. If this does not make Glenn Beck's brain explode nothing will.

This is such a bizarre concept that I am simply at a loss to respond. I will have to think about it.