CATRIONA ROWNTREE LAUNCHES MATERNITY RANGE FOR TARGET
MRS WOOG HAS AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF NAUSEA THEN HATCHES A PLAN
Travel reporter Catriona Rowntree is celebrating her second pregnancy with the launch of a maternity clothing range for Target. The summer collection has been beautifully designed and created with both style and comfort in mind and will launch in selected Target stores nationally on 13 January 2011.
Slummy Mummy Mrs Woog is celebrating another year of not getting pregnant with the launch of a range of Festive Merkins, to be sold through selected Adult Websites. The collection is thoughtlessly designed and created to be both itchy and uncomfortable. The release date has yet to be finalised and SawHole is busy sourcing the nastiest cheap fanny glue she can find in Russia.
“I’m thrilled Target have asked me to pursue my passion for all things maternity and design a range of clothes that are beautiful, practical and best of all, at a great price!” said Catriona.
The collection will include denim and must have basics as well as dresses and swimwear that are perfect for hot summer holidays and lazy days on the beach. The easy to wear styles feature bright colours as well as soft feminine prints to ensure all women look and feel great throughout their pregnancy.
“I’ve designed pieces that I would love to live and work in and that I can mix and match with the rest of my wardrobe” said Catriona.
"I could not give a fuck that Catriona is milking the baby making cow for all it is worth. I just beg for the day when I do not have to read about her boyfriend, her engagement, her wedding, her baby joy, her bowl movements and other mundane crap that she dishes out to the public on a weekly basis. And as far as I can tell, there are no size 18 grey tracksuit pants in her maternity collection. Oh for shame Catriona!" says Mrs Woog.
And according to the Mum of one, she has run everything by the girls in her mother’s group, family, friends and husband to create a range that is supportive in all the right places and has shots of colour, that Catriona says “are so important for our moods”.
According to Woog, mum of two, she lost all of her friends from mother's group when no one else shared her thoughts on holding Mother's Groups in the Local Beer Garden and refused to join them in the Mum's N Bubs Exercise Hour at North Sydney Park. And as far as running the rang of Merkins by Mr Woog for his opinion, she was disappointed but not surprised by his lack of enthusiasm. She also knows during the design process that there needs to be shots of tequila that Mrs Woog says "are so important for our moods".
“Catriona Rowntree’s values and family focus are a great fit with the Target brand. We’re so excited to have her designing this great range of maternity clothing that reflects our mantra of great quality, style and value and allows us to continue to bring new and differentiated product to our customers” said Target Business Manager Ladieswear, Karen Russell.
"Mrs Woogs values and family focus has nothing to do with how many Merkins we can sell. As far as we can tell, she lacks any skill in the designing arena. But like Catriona Rowntree, she will not shut up and is a total media whore, so we are helping this will boost sales in our genital decorative sector" said The Lazy Stud Business Manager Vaginawear Ms Scratchycrotch.
Mrs Woog's Merkins
Catriona off to the Logies in on her designs. (Praying it does not get recalled)....(again)
