I've been trying to make a trophy-style cup for these, but I am old, and my talents with arty software are not what they once were. I'll continue to attempt it, in between attending the Job Centre PLUS to be asked what 'advocacy' is and how to spell it, and asserting that it's just possible that the government's job-finding resources are less effective for those of us who can't fit their

I am job-hunting. This is, as we all know, an activity which is slow and grinding, to the point of physical pain. It's been difficult so far, not only because until now I've been without an internet connection at home, but also because one application just took me the better part of two days to complete and sucked my soul completely dry.I wonder if you can really refer to a period of time as '

The sun had finally broken through, and a lightness filled our heart as we set off around the East Cape of New Zealand, into a Maori heartland with few hotels and even fewer lunch stops selling anything but the ubiquitous toasted sandwich.This is not an urban area. There are no towns for miles, and miles, and miles. I'm not sure it even qualifies as rural. I think it barely qualifies as

We had an eventful Christmas Day, the highlight of which was probably Baldy and Salma's sherry trifle, which because they made it the previous night when they were drunk, contained enough alcohol to fell a Shire Horse.So it was through the haze of a late night and the knowledge that our goal of an early start was probably unachievable, that we packed the car the next morning. We ensured that we

The cab pulls up outside a slightly dilapidated single-story house nestling on a corner in a quiet neighbourhood ten minutes drive from the city centre. The door clicks open, and a tipsy couple in their early thirties emerges. "Thank you!" the man says, as he closes the cab's door. The driver begins to execute a wide u-turn as the man directs his next statement at his companion. "Can you get

I shouted at someone in a meeting today. Things are obviously getting to me, in some kind of undefinable way. I need to work it out, and then I'll write it down.

It appears that I have been overdoing things. I have succumbed to my first illness in nearly 3 years. I am rarely sick, so when it happens, I morph into a blob and bellyache my way through the day. It is possible to relate my overall sense of well-being by reference to my hair. Today's hair looks like it was mauled by a wild boar. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling like crap. My nose was

I cracked and ordered the all-new re-vamped My So-Called Life DVD box set, with extras. I realise that having two box sets of exactly the same series sounds ludicrous, but I must have the commentaries and commemorative book, and $38.99 is a small price to pay. It's available on Amazon.com.

The next day we went up to the nearby ski-field of Coronet Peak, so that I could drop my illusions on the floor and watch them shatter. If Mount Dobson were the Dino of the ski-field world, Coronet Peak would be the Toyota SUV with bull-bars and floodlights.We decided to go for only half a day to practice what we'd learnt, because a full day including a lesson would have emptied my bank account

The last couple of weeks could be described as my quattuordecimus horribilus. It seems, however, that things are looking up. Thank you, internets, for the supportive comments. When you're going about your daily business and life trips you up, it helps to know that others empathise and wish you well. It's never easy to try and address an enormous issue with dishonest people who have possession

Disgruntled non-resident landlords served notice on two tenants from a North London flat last Friday. The tenants have repeatedly failed to pay rent on time, and made an unauthorised attempt to sub-let a room in the flat, in breach of the lease.The tenants, who cannot be named for legal reasons, have not made a single rent payment on time since moving in over seven months ago. The May payment

It is just possible that in the dim and distant back drawer of your memory, you can make out the shape of my 30th birthday present through the fog. Allow me to sharpen the focus. Here, complete with birthday bow and cheeky Italian smirk, he is:Hello!You probably didn't notice that mentions of my Fiat have been thin on the ground lately. It has taken me this long to recover from incidente di

5 June 2008 is World Environment Day. It is also the day that Cowboy and I will celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Only, we won't be celebrating it together. This year, our wedding anniversary will be less about this... ...and more about this: Village IdiotThis year will be remembered forever (and probably relayed to children, and children's children) as the year where instead of

After making a promise to myself that I would post more in the New Year, I fell into a black hole. I clawed my way out of the self-initiated abyss only to end up barely days later lurching into one not of my making. Let's just say this has been one of those weeks I don't love my job. They may as well place a sign on the door of my building which states "Beware ye, all who enter. Here be egos.

I can't believe I forgot to write about this! Monday night was Guy Fawkes Night. Guy Fawkes' plot to blow up Parliament, which he attempted to do on 5th November 1605, is commemorated with burning effigies and of course, letting off fireworks. See, we've had terrorism for a while in the Mothership and we know how to celebrate foiled plots to bring down society.This brought to mind one of the

It was evening, the silence interrupted only by the occasional flick of pages turned by two readers, prone, side by side under a thick duvet. "There's a spider up there", the woman observed. The tone was calm, but it portended a mounting concern. "Maybe you should put it outside. There's no way I can reach it." The man stared at the woman in mild disbelief, such that she felt it was time to

1 dishcloth1 scrubbing brush1 chrome wine-bottle stopper1 just-poached-to-perfection eggTwo items on the list were relatively easily fished out with fingers, fear, and the assurance that the macerating death-blades were completely and utterly switched off and there was no way a poltergeist would reach over and switch the system to the red danger pain setting while my hand was fiddling about in

Everyone here has mailboxes rather than a slot in their front door for too-large letters to be rammed through in an abusive manner by the latest Royal Mail contractor. There are advantages and disadvantages to the mailbox approach.On the plus side, it's easier to ignore piles of junkmail if they're at the bottom of a box outside, than it is if you have to force the door open against the friction

It's time for Round 2 of Ritual Humiliation! I went to another job interview. This job scores 7/10 on the scale of perfect ways to earn money, so I was reasonably nervous a whole five days before I ever set foot inside the board room and placed myself at the mercy of a man in a blue and white flannel paisley shirt, flanked by two very intellectually astute women. By the time I was plumbing the

Hello campers! This post will stay sharp and on focus. There will be photos.Long time readers will recall that back in November I took it upon myself to make some soap. From scratch, I cooked up a batch of the clean stuff, and I've been using it ever since. Soap's a consummable, so it's time for me to get with the programme and produce some more.Truth be told, the last batch was only