It was pitch black when I drove there. And I couldn’t stop thinking: 'What the hell am I doing here?'
It was cold and I had no idea what I was doing.
A bit like life sometimes. Except at the time I was far to busy finding the people I was meant to be meeting, to really probe that existentialist thought.
It occurred to me that I had done smarter things than arrange to meet a group of strangers at 6am in a local park.
But find each other we did. We started off at a brisk walk, which in my case was more of a stumble as the pathway was in complete darkness, and me fervently praying I wouldn't fall over.
Then it was jogging for a bit and back to walking.
And as I did, the 'I would give anything to be back in my warm cosy bed' was replaced with a real sense of pride that I’d actually dragged myself out to this beginners running club.
As the sun began to rise and I saw the mist rising off the lake and the ducks and swans paddling around, I couldn’t escape the parallels.
My anxiety management and exercise are inextricably linked. I manage the first better with the second in place.
I’m not fit.
I have a long way to travel to get there.
But I covered over 4km yesterday morning.
And I seem to have covered the rest of the morning in fast forward as a consequence.
Of course there will probably be a price to pay with achey muscles later on. But I know that it will help me sleep well. For the first time in a long time.
Every little helps.
Image courtesy of We Heart It.
