Firstly a heartfelt thank you for your support on my previous post. I can't articulate just how grateful I am. I've kept going back to the "comments" and re-reading them.
You should also be very glad that you don't live with me. It's safe to say I have been an unmitigated nightmare to be around. You see, I kind of thought I was done. Done living overseas. Done with adventure and opportunity. Six years living with DH in the UK and having Mr Large over there was adventure enough for me for a lifetime. I'd psyched myself into being a SAHM raising her kids in the safe confines of the Western Suburbs. I was happy with with my little job that I could do on my own time and on my own terms. I was happy with the life DH and I had created for ourselves.
And now I'm not.
It's funny my blog title is "Oh the Possibilities." Maybe I should have put a disclaimer saying "but only the ones I like or am comfortable with." Because I have felt that stirring inside. I don't have to live within the stereotypes created for me. If we are going to travel now is the time. Because right now our kids won't care where they live as long as we are with them. Fast forward a few years and I would end up paying exorbitant therapy bills for them because "Mum so like, ruined my life by MAKING me live overseas and taking me away from my friends." But right now, we can uproot them with minimal trauma to them. (Trauma for me, a whole different story!)
So I have been insanely moody this weekend. One minute excited and the next minute terrified out of my tiny little brain. And what makes it worse is that it's all so uncertain. We won't know anything definitely for the next couple of weeks and even then, we will say no if it isn't the right offer for us.
I've done alot of research over the weekend so I feel a little more confident about some things like housing, education etc. I've even dusted off my C.V in the vague process of updating it, because maybe I could apply for a part time job too. Maybe.
But I also feel sad about the things we will miss out on here.
Life doesn't stand still for the absent. Nor should it (even though I really, really want it to) It's funny the inflated sense of self importance I have. My daughter won't know she missed her first Christmas Nativity play. My son won't know he missed his first season of soccer. I will miss my parents and friends like an amputee misses a limb. A certain plan to expand has to be postponed.
But instead, the children will get to see their first camel. DH will take Mr Large to Cairo to see the Pyramids. Miss Medium and I will go to the local souks to shop for burkhas (does anyone know if they come in pink with fairy wings attached?) and Mr Small will be adored by the locals for all the right reasons.
And at the end of the day we will all be together.
And that's what matters.
I have to "Let go and let God" and I think I'm ready to do that (but God could you please include some travel to Europe with that?)