I always knew I would be shocked when I found out Mr Woog was having an Internet romance. But what I was not expecting was the other woman would, in fact, be another man.
All the sign were there. Extended time on the computer. Texts going off at strange times. Money disappearing from our bank account. I should have known, or maybe I just not want to know. Maybe life was easier with blinkers on. I mean as long as he came home to me at the end of each day, I should be thankful, right?
His name is Giancarlo Avancini.
His friends call him "Jankie". Mr Woog calls him Jankie. I will stick with Giancarlo.
Giancarlo was born in Milan, Italy many moons ago. He arrived in Bali in 1997 and married a beautiful Balinese lady called Yoska and produced an heir. He set up Bali's first and only Stand Up Paddle Board business in the area called Sanur, which is Balinese for "extremely laid back and slow little town with a very good Italian restaurant."
Mr Woog and Giancarlo met over the Internet a while back. Their shared love for Stand Up Paddle Boarding meant they were like peas and carrots. They have met a few times and speak often. I went to Sanur yesterday to meet the man who had stolen Mr Woog's heart.
I would describe Giancarlo as a mixture of Pauly Shore and Al Pacino. A laid back surfer dude with a voice I could listen to for years. I knew immediately why Mr Woog had fallen so hard and so quickly.
For those who do not know, Stand Up Paddle Boarding is pretty much what the title of the "sport" suggests. You stand up and paddle. And when you are able to do that, you actually surf. And if you choose to believe Mr Woog or Giancarlo's incessant waffling, it is going to be bigger than surfing and soccer combined.
I watched Mr Woog from the beach yesterday paddle out (standing up - doing his best impersonation of Jesus walking on water) about 1km out to an artificial swell caused by a large tanker, whose driver had obviously got too pissed to notice a huge coral reef ahead. The tanker is massive. It has been there for 4 months. There is a crew still living on there (along with a very embarrassed captain) as if they leave it, locals will boat out to it and strip it like Miley Cyrus on a night out on the tiles.
After straining my eyes to make out a tiny black dot on the horizon, I got bored. There was a very scary dog smiling at me, so I went walking. Sanur was really pretty. And cheap! Mr Woog was so pleased Giancarlo had found a room for our romantic overnight stay for $70. So you can just imagine how lovely it was. I got back to the hotel, went for a dip and asked for cocktail list. The barman said they had Bintang. So I sucked back a beer and waited for Mr Woog with the company of Marion Keyes.
We went to a restaurant, recommended by Giancarlo, stayed in the hotel, recommended by Giancarlo and Mr Woog got up early to go and meet Giancarlo, for a final surf this morning. I asked Mr Woog if they held hands and watched the sun come up over Sanur. He told me to stop being an idiot.
Giancarlo Giancarlo Giancarlo Marsha Marsha Marsha.
The ride back to Canguu was full of Mr Woog wistfully looking out the window, wondering how long it would be until he saw his beloved friend again. I played UNO on the iPhone.
Does your partner have a bromance that ever makes you wonder??
