Mr Small took a tumble the other day. It was a nasty one and not one we could have prevented even if I'd been standing right next to him. Which unfortunately I wasn't.
He came running towards me and Husband sobbing his little heart out. Within seconds, he was settling down. Husband dashed to get his "blankie" and the two of us stood side by side, with him nuzzling in between our shoulders. I felt his heart which had been beating out of its ribcage begin to slow, and his breathing become more measured. We chatted to him about things we knew he liked and pretty soon he was laughing and giggling.
Then he ran off to play again.
And it struck me that most of the time we can't do anything about preventing the "before."
Much of the time we can only watch and wait.
We also cannot change the "before." Whether it is the words I spoke in haste and anger that ruptured a friendship, the mistakes made during the renovations, the hardship endured by family friends.
I wish I could.
But I can see after what happened with Mr Small, the "before" in many ways becomes largely irrelevant.
It is the "after" that counts.
It's being the grown up and continuing to smile politely and say "hello" even when you feel bewildered and snubbed.
It's getting Husband to make a list of "repairs needed" and making sure they get done.
It's showing up and being there for friends even if all they can do is cry and all I can do is pass tissues.
And giving hugs.
They're great for "afters." I can't recommend them highly enough.