What's funnier: the fact that Clemens needed help injecting himself with steroids, or that Clemens is the face of Topps Series 3? As much fun as a Saturday night spent shooting a washed-up Roger Clemens full of steroids sounds, I'm going to have to go with the fact that Topps is now connected with the two most high-profile users in the Mitchell Report.

Compound that with the fact that the level of bad luck handed down to Topps spokesmen has to rank up there with the Sports Illustrated and Madden cover curses. First David Wright's Mets put together a collapse that puts the 1964 Phillies to shame. Then Father Time, excuse me, Greg Oden, shuffles into the operating room and misses the entire season. Follow that by golden boy Alex Rodriguez bitch-slapping the Red Sox on the eve of their World Series sweep with news that he'd burn a stack of $100 dollar bills in front of a group of needy children––I'm sorry, I can't read my own handwriting––I mean opt out of his already mammoth contract for one even more mammoth-er. Now Roger Clemens, Topps' cover boy for Series 3, is about to enter panic mode (if he wasn't already there). Oh, and I totally forgot about Dwyane Wade and his Magic Shoulder. And I guess you could add Barry Bonds to this list, since technically he is still under contract with Topps, though what's the point? In case you haven't noticed, that guy's a ticking time bomb.

Seriously, it must suck for Topps PR right now.