If my body was a temple, it would definitely be the Taj Mahal. Last nights events confirms this.

I am feeling LARGE.

We went to a New Year's Eve Party at Deus Ex Machina. Yes, I too asked "What the fuck does that mean?" when we drove up to a huge structure sitting in the middle of a rice field. It is a restaurant, bar, motorbike shop, surfboard shop, live music venue and art gallery. Naturally.

It is like every mans fantasy under one roof. (apart from any type of pole dancing).

The wait staff looked like contestants from Bali's Next Top Model. They had turned the entire shop and gallery into seating and had local and international artists playing. Kids were treated to a movie and popcorn night. Adults were treated to delights such as Mango Mohitos. And they were good.

Deus Ex Machina was established by Mambo Founder Dare Jennings. He sold Mambo in 2000, becoming an instant squillionaire. He must have watched it Field of Dreams one time too many and taken the "Build it and they will come" attitude literally.

The event slowly filled so that by the time 9pm came around, it was in full swing. Jack was the sole dancer on the grassy dance floor, twirling around in his purple tutu and getting comments from the crowd like "Little Girl, you are a wonderful dancer!" which pleased him no end.

The crowd were not tourists, but ex-pats, of which there is a huge community of here in Bali. They are all "in design" "in fashion" and "entrepreneurs". The thing that struck me the most was the all round attractiveness. Everyone was supermodelesque.

The fellas were typically mid 50's, living the dream and jamming on the stage and sharing stories of the entrepreneurial Balinese World that they were in. The partners appeared to be mainly second wives in their late twenties/early thirties and all suffering from a severe bout of tapeworm. I mean I have not seen such skinniness under one roof ever. But is was good to know ex-models from Sydney retired into such picturesque surroundings. They all had cute-as-a-button babies dressed in designer nappy covers and fairy wings. No one really ate much, apart from the Woogs and the Ryans.

I briefly met Dare Jennings as he passed, carrying one of his kids who was asleep in his arms. He struck me as a relaxed bloke who was enjoying the chaos that swirled around him. He was the host and we were part of his plan, albeit just for the evening. And it felt like we were kicking back in his life, fuelled by surfboards, bikes, wine, women and song.

When we got back to the Villa, I stood on the verandah looking out over the tropical jungle and watched thousands of fireworks exploding from the local villages. And I vowed I would start designing t-shirts with dogs farting musical notes on them. He was fairly inspirational.