Did I ever tell you about the time my father (man of the cloth) offered to pay me £1 to chew and swallow a black peppercorn? No? Well, impoverished young kid that I was, I succumbed to temptation. I chewed, and swallowed, and then vomited quite spectacularly. All in all, entertainment worth £1, I feel. But my father refused to pay up, on the grounds that I hadn't kept it down*. It's really