The deluge of advertising has begun. My mailbox was stuffed with junk mail today all suggesting wondrous gifts to buy for my mother for the forthcoming Mother's Day.
The gifts were enticing I admit. I especially liked the ones that promised me a little something too. A free gift as it were. But I really and truly don't want or need gifts from my own offspring to know they love and need me. I am reminded each and every day. And often in the dark of night as well.
Quite frankly I am dreading this Mother's Day. I will be spending half of it on a plane for a start. Our kittens are scheduled for an operation that morning that will permanently prevent them from becoming mothers themselves not feeling in the slightest bit guilty about that really husband also needs to take Mr Large to football training and visit his own mother on this auspicious day. Trying to organise all these events in my absence is creating a headache already that no amount of panadol is going to help with.
In addition, to add to my "crap mother list" I will miss my children for much of this day. I will miss the special service held for mothers at my children's school. I feel guilty about that even though my mother and mother in law have sweetly agreed to go in my stead.
I loathe Mother's Day myself. Every year it comes around, and yet again is a rather painful reminder of the rather large cannon ball sized hole that was irrevocably shot through my mum's heart the day after Mother's day many years ago.
Since becoming a mother myself I have noticed it far more.
Since becoming a mother myself I have noticed it far more.
I think that's why I hate the junk mail and advertising for Mother's Day myself. I hate the commercialism of the day. As if buying some stupid gift from a cosmetic counter is going to somehow summarise to my mother " I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!"
There aren't words to adequately say how much I adore my mother.
There aren't gifts to say " I know Mother's Day sucks for you, and serves only to reinforce an ache in your heart that will never go away even though I bought you such and such."
Rory died the day after Mother's Day.
My mother lost her baby the day after a day that celebrates mothers and motherhood.
And I hate the fact I can never make up for that for her.
I suspect she's not that big a fan either.
How do you feel about Mother's Day?
