Puzzled and perturbed to read today (in the Telegraph mind you) about the success of Hey Hey it's Saturday, which is conveniently aired on a Wednesday. I am sure this alone confused the 1.521 moronic Aussies who watched it. Undoubtedly interspersed with ads for KFC, Bob Jane and Fantastic Furniture, this show has failed to light my fire in any way, even when it aired in the morning 30 years ago. (fuck I'm old.)

Good on you Jackie MacDonald for refusing to take part. She has been replaced By Molly Meldrum's Dog.

Delighted that it did not win the time slot. I flicked it on for one minute then realised what I was watching. I was that embarrassed for them. Surely the production crew all went home to their significant others and logged straight onto SEEK to see whether A Current Affair was hiring.

Why do I hate it so much? Help!