This isn't really about low carb or diet today, so consider yourself warned before you read further. Sometimes a girl just needs to vent, okay?

About a month ago, my church played host to one of those mobile medical labs--you know the ones. You pay a hundred bucks or so, and they do some basic screening tests, mostly with ultrasound, to see if you have blocked carotid arteries, any signs of aortal weakness, or any life-threatening blood clots in your legs. For an extra $20 they throw in a test for osteoporosis.

Now, I should say here that I refer to my regular doctor as "MD Lite." It's not that she's young, but let's just say I think she'd be really good at diagnosing, say, a head cold. So this seemed to me to be a good chance for an overweight, middle-aged woman (jeez, how lovely I sound) to get some tests done that normally wouldn't be possible without overt symptoms. Heart disease runs in my family so I thought this was a wise thing; I threw in the osteoporosis test just for the heck of it even though I know it's thin, willowy, fragile little ladies who have that disease.

Well, the results are in.
I do not have any carotid artery blockage.
I do not have any vascular blockages.
I do not have any aortal weakness.

See where this is going?

I'm at high risk for bone breakage due to osteopenia--not a disease itself, but often a precursor to osteoporosis.

So here I am, the first fat lady in the history of the world to be heading down the road to broken hip land.

I'll be taking the results to MD Lite next week. I figure her response will be: "That's interesting."

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