When it's better


You know when Cinderella didn't get an invite to the ball? And it sucked for her. She stayed home having a little sob and scrubbing the steps. Because like me, when upset she indulged her OCD tendencies and cleaned up.
For various reasons I've been feeling a bit like this lately, and perverse at it seems, the easier it makes it for me to opt out of other stuff. 
Today my phone rang while I was at Ikea. I was somewhere between the SANDIG and the RATIONELL VARIERA (that's bucket and spade and draw thingy of some description, for those of you who aren't yet fluent in Swedish)
I don't usually answer the calls of numbers I don't know, (opting out anyone?) but this was the first time Mr Small had been big enough to go to Smaland, a veritable paradise for children and I thought it might be them calling me to say he'd had a meltdown or worse, an accident.
Much better, it was the lady setting up the beginners running group I'm starting tomorrow.
She had tragic news.
It wasn't going to start now till next week.
I was T.H.R.I.L.L.E.D.
Another week of sleeping in, and er, opting out sounded spectacularly appealing.
Then I realised she was still talking. And before I knew what had happened the arrangement had been made for her to come to my house 2 mornings this week to train me herself. Apart from being above and beyond the call of her duty, it also left me with absolutely no wiggle room to get out of it.
I weakly protested that she really mustn't, but she clearly had the measure of my lazy ways, and there was no negotiating.
"It will give me a chance to see where you are in terms of your fitness!" she said brightly.
"I'm nowhere!" I replied cleverly.
"Well that's a great place to get started then" was the firm reply.
And that was a great moment. Being co-opted is awesome isn't it? Because while being left out or behind sucks, when you ARE included feels ten times as good as a result.
Sometimes things don't work out the way I plan. Like this time.
And I have a suspicion it's going to be a gazillion times better.
FTR the photo above is NOT ME. Yet ;)
Have you been given no chance to opt out lately?

· fitness, running

Food for thought.

It is a timely thing that I start running club this week.
In fact, quite possibly it would be legally required.
Why?
Because my weekend has been book-ended by supremely yummy food.
I gatecrashed my way into a meet up at Koko Black with The Food Pornographer, Kirsti Melville, Sue Yeap and Chloe Jarvis. All fabulous and interesting women.
Twitter has a way of connecting people and drawing dots together. So it made perfect sense for us to spend Saturday afternoon, in a cafe tasting food and talking all things glorious and food.


One of the group and I were mystified as to why we hadn't met before. But how very glad am I we did.
I bought gifts for the offspring while there.
I am ashamed to say that unfortunately, this didn't make it to them in one piece.

I did spread the chocolates out a bit so they wouldn't notice visible gaps, does anyone else do that?
And today, I abandoned my "the only good spontaneity is planned spontaneity" philosophy.
My brother texted to say there was a street festival on, and instead of worrying about the school uniforms that needed ironing or lunches to be made, we piled in the car.
We wandered down the streets admiring the craft and artisans.

I LOVED this. I'm ordering one saying "WRITE."

And we ate. Again.

Running club people.
Starts Tuesday.
What are you up to this week?

· chocolate, family time, food, running

Honesty


I’ve been feeling a bit flat recently. And flabby. Flabby and flat. What a delightful combination don’t you think?
Possibly it's post birthday malaise, but mostly I think it's my body missing a much needed natural endorphin rush.
Recently someone tweeted how fabulous they felt after a workout. I immediately went to reply I hoped they weren’t overdoing it. But I stopped myself. Like many people when I’m feeling insecure I project that onto others.
Instead of thinking how amazing it was they could do that, I was trying to avoid my own uncomfortable awareness that I haven’t exercised properly since ‘The Great Boot Camp Debacle” of 2011.
 It’s like negativity in a way. It’s contagious stuff. So easy to get sucked into and sail merrily along with. Except I’m not merry at all. But misery likes company and being negative gets lots of that.
So I started thinking about exercising and some of the things I talked to my therapist about recently.
I looked in my diary and decided I couldn’t possibly commit to an exercise programme before May. Because I’m just too busy.
And I went and did the school run. While there, I bumped into a mum and we talked about an event we were both going to soon. She mentioned it would be a rush because she had swimming training beforehand. Turns out she runs 3 times a week and swims the other 2. It helps her cope with her full time job and small children.
And I clicked.
There’s a cycle of negativity that I fall into when I’m not exercising. I get anxious more easily, over-sensitive. I spend a great deal of time looking after others, but not after myself. I get resentful and tired. Yeah I'm awesome to live with as you can imagine. 
So I did some research. 
And this time I really thought about what I'd like to be doing. What I enjoy AND get results from. 
So I am joining a beginner running training group the week after next. I'll build in some strength training a bit further down the track. Twice a week to start. That seems doable. It doesn't intimidate me the way bootcamp three days a week did.
Because honestly, I like being happy, fit and strong. Even if it does make me look like this:
What's your exercise of choice?

· exercise, fitness, running

Hitting the ground

One of the interesting things I have discovered about my newly refreshed love of running, is that the pace I go is often dictated by the music playing. If the music is up-tempo then my pace quickens. If the song is a slow one then inevitably I find myself slowing down with it.

I've decided that it is important that I revisit my music list. Up-tempo is the only way to go for me these days.
Yesterday I didn't feel like going for a run. But Sunday is the only day to fit in a long run and with the 14km fun-run only a few weeks away I still need to cover a fair bit of training to be able to do it.
I would have liked to skip it.
But I duly laced up, put the music on and jogged away. I'm so glad I did. I jogged down to the beach and ran along the beach front. While I ran, there were periods where my mind was in frenzied overload. There were a million thoughts to process, so much I wanted to say.
And then there were the moments where it was just me and the pathway. And in those rare moments, the frenzy fell away. I was at peace. With my body, with my heart, with the past and with the present.
I came back to children who had been bathed and fed. I came back to the loving (and still feverish arms of Mr Small who was delighted to see me) I came back to a Husband whose quiet support and love I don't deserve, but still get anyway.
And throughout the day I felt loved and supported by many people I have never met. I cannot thank you enough.
The week ahead will be an amazing one for me. I intend to enjoy every minute of it.
I will enjoy my time away from my family.
I will enjoy the peek into a world so vastly different to my own.
I will enjoy meeting people who I think are amazing and want to meet up with me.
I will cuddle my niece and nephew.
I will hang out with the MABs (my amazing brothers) and make promises like writing more chapters of books.
I will seize an awesome opportunity that has been offered to me.
And when I come back.
I will hit the ground again.
Running.

· family, fitness, friendship, running

I'm a Negligent Blogger

Oops... It sure has been a while since posting. Some updates:

I'm now an instructor at the 6 AM Operation Boot Camp in Bitsy Grant Park. I run around a lot and yell (not at people, of course). And instruct. And sweat. Good times, I tell you. And I am still losing weight and inches. Which is an even better time. Today was bring a friend day and we had Super Phat Mikey from Star 94 come for the workout. See the video here. Can you spot me? Look for the Incredible Hulk green shoes doing fire hydrants... I have to say, Mikey did a great job. He should come work out with us more often... but probably at the 6 PM camp since he's at work when I'm working out.

Peachtree Road Race: I ran it and didn't die. 1 hour 6 minutes. Just a bit longer than I would have liked to have run the race in — an hour was the goal — but I am still happy to have completed it. Next year I will avoid getting soaked on the course from the various water spraying contraptions. Wet shoes are heavy. Duh. The post-race drinking was good. The post-race drinking was, however, interrupted with some tastless, racist remarks from someone who shall remain nameless. I won't be hanging out with said person any more. And if he truly hopes to run for office... well I hope his remarks come back to bite him in the ass. (Had I not been inebriated, my comeback would have been much more swift than the half-assed "That was... off-color..." pun that flew out of my mouth.)

Next 10k is the US 10k Classic on Labor Day. Is there a half-marathon in my future? Perhaps...

Java is not dead yet. Thankfully. Dumbass has probably stopped eating baby wipes for a while.

I still don't have a damn iPhone. Because I have a business discount I can't buy it at the Apple Store. AT&T still has none in stock and their customer service still sucks. No surprises.

We bought a new car. The POS Passat is no longer, we replaced it with a 2009 Subaru Outback XT. This is the turbo model, nice and fast. Not that I can really open it up until the 1000 mile break-in period is done with. No more VWs for me, thanks. And Jim Ellis VW can bite my butt, they are the worst dealer in the Atlanta area for any kind of sales or service. I highly recommend Classic Cadillac and Subaru in Roswell.

I met up with the Atlanta People With Blogs Who Get Together To Drink at 6 Feet Under for dinner. And drinks. Good times were had by all. And it helped me reconnect with an old friend. I've known Tami since my IRC days back in the early 90's when I was in grad school. We've all grown up and moved on since then, but it was nice to reconnect. Maybe she'll come out to drink next time?

We're headed off on vacation to Seattle soon... more on that when we get there.


Maya is still cute as hell. No surprises there...

· APWBWGTTD, friends, Java, Peachtree Road Race, running, Seattle, Subaru, vacation

Java, Long Runs and Family Trees

Lots of little updated combined into one here...

Java is fine. He is eating and gaining weight and back to himself. We finally had someone come and deal with mowing the yard after the lawnmower died (again), and found lots of wipes that Java had eaten. He was trying a little intestinal roto-rooter. Yuck. We have stopped putting any wipes in any unsealed garbage can.

I ran 7 miles yesterday from Big Peach Running Company in Buckhead, down to 10th and Peachtree in Midtown. (Map) This was my longest run yet in both mileage and time (1 hour 17 min). My pace was slower than I'd like for the Peachtree at around 11 minutes/mile, I'd love to get this just below 10 min/mile for the Peachtree. Two weeks more running to work on that.

Finally, I have started building a family tree for Maya. This was spawned from Steph buying a baby book to document her life in. There is a spot for a family tree, but Steph wasn't sure how to go about filling it in. So I used Ancestry.com to put one together. I now know more about my family tree than I ever could have imaged. Most of it is on my father's side, but I am working to fill in more on my mom's side too. I'm shocked that I can trace back 6 generations from Maya to her great-great-great-great grandmothers Pauline Edelstein (maiden name? married name?), Sarah Berkman (married name, maiden unknown) and great-great-great-great grandfather Harris Berkman, all born in the early/mid 19th century. Most of the trails backwards lead to Russia, Poland, etc., so I doubt I'll find much prior to their emigration to the US, but it's been fun anyway.

· family, family tree, Java, Peachtree Road Race, running

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