I’ve been feeling a bit flat recently. And flabby. Flabby and flat. What a delightful combination don’t you think?
Possibly it's post birthday malaise, but mostly I think it's my body missing a much needed natural endorphin rush.
Recently someone tweeted how fabulous they felt after a workout. I immediately went to reply I hoped they weren’t overdoing it. But I stopped myself. Like many people when I’m feeling insecure I project that onto others.
Instead of thinking how amazing it was they could do that, I was trying to avoid my own uncomfortable awareness that I haven’t exercised properly since ‘The Great Boot Camp Debacle” of 2011.
It’s like negativity in a way. It’s contagious stuff. So easy to get sucked into and sail merrily along with. Except I’m not merry at all. But misery likes company and being negative gets lots of that.
So I started thinking about exercising and some of the things I talked to my therapist about recently.
I looked in my diary and decided I couldn’t possibly commit to an exercise programme before May. Because I’m just too busy.
And I went and did the school run. While there, I bumped into a mum and we talked about an event we were both going to soon. She mentioned it would be a rush because she had swimming training beforehand. Turns out she runs 3 times a week and swims the other 2. It helps her cope with her full time job and small children.
And I clicked.
There’s a cycle of negativity that I fall into when I’m not exercising. I get anxious more easily, over-sensitive. I spend a great deal of time looking after others, but not after myself. I get resentful and tired. Yeah I'm awesome to live with as you can imagine.
So I did some research.
And this time I really thought about what I'd like to be doing. What I enjoy AND get results from.
So I am joining a beginner running training group the week after next. I'll build in some strength training a bit further down the track. Twice a week to start. That seems doable. It doesn't intimidate me the way bootcamp three days a week did.
Because honestly, I like being happy, fit and strong. Even if it does make me look like this:
What's your exercise of choice?