My friend is dealing with what we both half laughing, half tearfully referred to as "the blue file" situation. You know, one of those life changing events where suddenly your world gets tipped upside down and there is so much you now need to learn.
But you don't want to.
You simply can't process it all.
My dear friend is sitting by her daughter's bed in the hospital right now. There is a blue file there too. It contains any and all the information you can imagine, about the condition her child has been diagnosed with. She's opened the blue file. She's tried to read it. But it's overwhelming and she just can't do it. Not right now.
And that's ok.
Sometimes at "the blue file" moments we just have to leave certain things closed and wait for it all to pass. My friend needs to grieve, be angry and learn to cope with the "new normal" she and her family now face.
When my dad was ill a while ago I remember there was a plethora of information about it all. Friends had advice or experiences they wanted to share. But at the time it was hard to hear or process any of the information.
In my case I had the big cry a few weeks after it all happened. When the danger had passed and I knew dad was really going to be ok. Only then could I feverishly read up and around what had happened properly.
I remember a girlfriend whose child had been diagnosed with cancer a few years back. A doctor herself, she simply refused to read up on the stats or read other stories. Her focus was on the words of the staff caring for her child and ensuring she was present as a mother. I still remember her saying, she simply couldn't cope with anymore information than what the hospital staff were telling her. At the time I couldn't understand why she wasn't hungry for more information, to find an answer to "why."
But "blue file moments" are a way of nature protecting us I think. When something is simply too overwhelming, we just need to leave it on the shelf.
We can always open it later.
Have you ever had a blue file moment to share?
My dear, darling friend would be comforted to know there are others who've survived them as well right now.