I was a keen swimmer for many years. Did the club thing. The early morning training for years. It was a form of meditation, a stress reliever in a way. Just the ploughing up and down the pool on my own was wonderful. Well that's the way nostalgia paints it anyhow.
So these past eight years of parenting have forced me to look at swimming somewhat differently. Going swimming has meant military planning and precision. It's meant endless changing of small, wriggly people. It's meant holding them in the pool as they find their balance, working to increase their confidence and offering a constant stream of encouragement.
It's meant being at DEFCOM 4 or something equally high alert to ensure each tadpole or frog isn't off doing something beyond their capability, or being ready to swim to the rescue if they are.
Like much of motherhood the shift in focus from me to "them" has taken a little getting accustomed to. I'd be lying if I didn't say I haven't felt resentful on occasion. Swimming used to be "my" thing. And it isn't anymore.
As most people know we are in the grip of a seemingly endless heatwave here. It's has been mercilessly hot. And today, with Nonna and Poppa back in town and their swimming pool acting as some sort of siren call, I told the offspring they were going swimming.
Within minutes all 3 were dressed and ready to go with a change of clothes by the door.
They marched out obediently clutching their towels and hats.
Today they all jumped and started swimming.
By themselves.
Oh sure, I got called in to play mermaids with one, sharks with another and to rescue Mr Small who has a pathological terror of the pool cleaner when it came near.
But mostly they did their own thing.
And as I watched them I felt a bit sad.
Empty, almost.
I didn't take the chance to swim up and down the pool. Instead I watched them play happily. Totally and utterly absorbed.
Clearly my role has changed.
And so we packed up. They all changed themselves, placed their wet things in the bags. And they ran off happily shouting to cuddle Nonna and Poppa.
Leaving me with the bags.
So I'm not totally redundant it seems.
Excellent.