I saw her the other day and for the first time in 4 years my pulse didn't quicken. I didn't automatically start taking shallow breaths, or feel my anxiety levels rise.
Instead, I ignored her and felt her studied gaze of indifference falter ever so slightly, as I walked blithely past with Mr Small in tow.
There was nothing to say.
I used to be a teacher.
I loved my profession. I adored working with my students. I remember years ago being told that over my lifetime I would have at least 4 career changes, and thinking that would NEVER happen to me.
By the end of my teaching career I was taking beta blockers just to get through my day.
It wasn't the students. I loved that part.
Without going into the specifics I was the victim of a campaign of insidious bullying by a former colleague.  Like many bullies, it was quiet, passive aggressive and incredibly destructive. At the time I was juggling a fulltime job, a toddler, a nine month old, a husband who worked away all too frequently and a horrendous mortgage so I know I definitely didn't have the wherewithal to deal with it properly.
In the year where it all imploded, or specifically, I imploded, I can see the subconscious steps I took to deal with the problem.
We sold our house and bought a smaller one nearer where the Offspring's school would be, and more importantly near our family and friends.
I talked about the problem endlessly with family and friends. I tried being friendly. I tried ignoring her. Being told this was almost a rite of passage for new colleagues didn't help much either.
At heart I am a people pleaser. I want people to like me. And she didn't. At all. And it was made clear to me every single day in a thousand ways.
And whilst I respected her right to dislike me, having my professionalism and ability as a teacher questioned at every turn was devastating.
Because I was a good teacher.
I was asked why one person could have such a singular effect on my sense of self worth, but if you have been bullied you will know exactly why it was the case.
Interestingly when the issue was raised formally, the response to my allegations was they weren't aware their behaviour had such an impact on me.
They knew.
Trust me.
The final straw came when Husband was away with the offspring.
And I handed in my resignation to a job I loved, colleagues I really liked.
I completed the year in order to ensure my final year students got through their exams.
I will never be a classroom teacher again.
I have worked in varying fields ever since all related to education. I like working, I get real satisfaction out of my job.
I am blissfully happy in my newfound career as a writer. I even write that on forms asking me my profession. In some ways I can thank her for allowing me to pursue a career path I adore. I am having more fun than I ever did teaching. I have freedom and choices which is intoxicating when my day was always prescribed for me.
Next time I see her I may say that.....