To the left, to the left



You know those urban myths we’re all familiar with? Like the one about chewing gum taking seven years to pass through the human digestive system? A quick check at Snopes and it’s easy to discover it’s not true.
Well I think flight upgrades are another urban myth. Something designed to give economy class travellers false hope at the airport.
You see, I have been on a fair few plane flights in my life. The journeying began when I was very small. Every couple of years, after lots of careful saving, my parents would make the long sojourn across to the other side of the world to visit our grandparents. At the time this involved lots of stops and flight changes. In fact, at that time it appeared more plane changes equalled cheaper flights.
It also meant long layovers. An 8 hour wait in Copenhagen airport terminal is one burned in the brain of every family member on the particular trip. This was after a 6 hour stopover at the terminal in Singapore. I think we probably could have walked there faster.
In those days, or what my offspring charmingly refer to as 'the olden days,' kids could roam the aeroplane. And we had serious seat envy of those who lived up the left of the plane. They even had proper cutlery! (Though I don't think they even have that anymore)
Now I completely understand the logic of not upgrading a family. No one would do that.
But then I became a grown up and did a fair bit of travelling myself and NOT ONCE has anyone said “Thank you for travelling with XYZ airlines and hey, we’d like to upgrade you today!”
NOT ONCE.
And it has been a lot of plane flights after several years of living overseas myself as well.
I’ve tried dressing smartly, smiling sweetly, almost lovingly at the check in clerk and sending urgent mental messages 'Please upgrade me, please upgrade me!'
Nothing.
Nada.
I've heard of so and so's cousin's step sister being offered an upgrade and Aunt Betty's nephew twice removed even making it to first class. But does it ever really happen?
I am ever the optimist.
Today when I go to check in at the airport this morning for a whistlestop trip to the other side of the country, I will wait to hear the magic words 'UPGRADE'
And for once,
Go left, instead of right, when getting on the plane.
Wish me luck or give me the ultimate how to get an upgrade tip x

Image courtesy of We Heart It.

· optimism

Green eyed monster



I pride myself on being happy for others when good things happen for them. I am someone who is usually optimistic and positive.
But not this week.
This week I am ashamed to say I have been jealous and envious on many occasions. I'm not sure what bought this unaccustomed bout of ill feeling on. What I do know is that I'm over it now.
However this week:
If you had, or have possession of a nice kitchen, the chances are I have been filled with overwhelming envy of you. I am currently in the middle of a love/hate relationship with mine. Actually that's a lie. It's a loathe/hate relationship.  I HATE it. It's shabby, it's dark and pokey, the stove is unpredictable, the oven burns things and overall, it's totally unsuited to the demands of a family.
Hopefully, in the coming months this situation will change, but right now I am coping with it with gritted teeth.
Before anyone tells me I should be grateful I have a kitchen in the first place, may I graciously direct you to this post? It's my kitchen and I'll hate it if I want to.
Moving on:
I got a phonecall from a girlfriend asking me what I store frozen meals in. "Freezer bags" was my answer. Not rocket science surely? No, the question was merely a pretext for them to call me so they could tell me, they needed to make lots of meals to freeze them because they were going away on holiday. By themselves. To Bali. I was an unattractive shade of green by the end of that particular conversation.
Grand Finale:
reading a friend's facebook status that sounded like something out of Cinderella. Except that the clock didn't strike at midnight and Cinderella got to keep her fabulous gown. Instead of being excited for said friend, I was jealous. I didn't even comment on their status saying how amazing her night sounded. What an awesome friend I am. And then I caught up with her and blurted out how much I hated her and how jealous I was. And then she told me the fairystory, and I saw how thrilled and delighted she was. And I realised how shabby and dark I was being. Much like my kitchen. Which I hate. Have I mentioned that?

So after a long and tiring day I sat on the couch with a feverish again, bloody hell Mr. Small to watch a Barbie movie. He likes Barbie, what can I say? And I had a good think about what a horrible person I was being. The fact is I have a great life. It's filled with lots of amazing and wonderful things. So I apologise to my holidaying friend and my Cinderella friend for not being thrilled for you. Both of them have been so happy for me whenever good stuff has happened for me. But because I am only human, I will say this. Until I have a kitchen that is functional, I'm probably going to be jealous of you. So it's best that we meet at a park or something if you want to catch up.

· envy, jealousy, optimism

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