On a recent plane journey I ended up chatting with a very nice grandmother. We waxed lyrical about our offspring and then she started chatting with my about the concerns she had about her grandchild. It was evident to me that from what she said, this child probably had a particular syndrome that I spent a great deal of my teaching career working with. I gently suggested that maybe further evaluations were needed because with this particular syndrome, early intervention is crucial.
She replied sadly that this was absolutely impossible as the parents in question resolutely refused to acknowledge anything was wrong.
And it got me thinking really hard about what is a very interesting and sensitive issue.
What do you do/say when a family member or friend has child who clearly needs specialist support and isn't getting it?
I have many friends who have children who have special needs, and often they have been my first phone-call when it came to getting evaluations or advice about therapists or therapies for my own offspring. And they have been awesome with their help.
 I have used this blog at length to figure out how best to support my own children when they have faced their own issues requiring support.
I still remember the sick feeling in my stomach when my child's teacher told me my child required intervention and support with their learning issues. But mostly I felt relief because I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know what.
We have been very lucky. The type of intervention and support we need is intensive and will in all likelihood be short term.
But what about parents for whom it won't be?
I know many children where the parents have resolutely ignored our pleas for them to seek professional intervention for them. I've been in case meetings where staff were sworn at or verbally abused. It was always made abundantly clear that any difficulties their child faced were of the schools making. Only they weren't.
My very first day of teaching I met a little one who had slipped all the way through primary school without any support or guidance. As a new teacher I wasn't aware of the boundaries set for me at the time. So I earnestly suggested to the parent at pick up after the child's first day at school, they they seek a psychological evaluation at the earliest opportunity. It was evident to me this child was autistic immediately.
I nearly lost my job for my audacity.
The school and I subsequently spent a year trying to get parental permission for an evaluation which was consistently refused. In the meantime this poor child suffered enormously and teachers were reduced to providing them with colouring in pictures because we simply weren't equipped to cope with them at all.
We failed that child.
But so did the parents.
Often times I am as guilty as the next person of being critical of "other people's children." I know I am not the only one.
But what do you say or do when it is evident that it goes beyond "Jane" or "John" being super shy or too aggressive at games?
If I know that child is getting help or support, at that point quite frankly I feel I have no right to say anything because mum/dad are doing their best. And as I know only too well, it takes a long time to find the right solution for a child and sometimes that is simply too hard to talk about.
Do you really say it best if you say nothing at all?
Do you dare risk a friendship?
Or does saying nothing really make you a friend?

Sponsored by the delightful Nuffnang and Fisher Price

A couple of weeks ago the slip came home that when my son did his news presentation it had to be a “How to…”
We racked our brains on suitable topics for him. How to….make pasta? Great idea, but lots of preparation required and it could prove horribly messy.
Other suggestions like making a paper aeroplane and drawing pictures were all dismissed by him, and just as well, as other students did them early on in the week.
The tension was building. It wasn’t helped by the fact that we were hit with a MASSIVE storm that meant the children all had to stay at home from school because it had been severely damaged.
And then the parcel deliveryman came to call.
And mummy got a parcel.
In it were toys from the new range from Fisher-Price Trio.
I’m not sure who was more delighted to see it, but all three offspring practically dive-bombed me in their eagerness to unpack it.
We spent the first few minutes unpacking and looking at the instructions of “how to” use it.
The graphics made it clear for the children and within minutes they were happily ensconced making their creations.
The blocks were great for all of them. Mr. Small loved listening to the little click whenever he connected one block to another piece. Miss Medium was delighted with the bright colours and Mr. Large was busy building a complex looking helicopter.
We hit a snag when we looked at other pictures in the catalogue that didn’t have instructions on “how to” build them. Interestingly though, having built their first piece following the instructions the children simply ploughed ahead and made them anyway.

I think it was because having made one they had the confidence to make lots of other things and didn’t need the guidelines anymore.
These Trio set is probably one of the cleverest kits I’ve seen in a while. Firstly, it kept all three occupied. It cleverly has sets aimed at varying age groups but all the pieces are interchangeable. It helps aid their manual dexterity and allows them to be creative which appeals to me as a parent and a teacher.
The kids loved it, which to my mind is the most important thing.
And I’d like you to try it too, which is why I’m giving away a kit to you as well.
If you’d like to win a kit, make sure you are a blog follower and just leave a comment saying why you'd like to win the Fisher_price trio set and I'll pick a a lucky person to win the kit.
I'll leave this open to entries until next Monday and I'll ship it worldwide to you.

Here in our little corner of the world a certain site went "live" today.The site was mired in controversy before it even started with educators saying it would be used to create potentially damaging school rankings, less fondly known as league tables.
Having taught in the UK for a number of years where league tables were published as a matter of course I've found the controversy fascinating.
Mainly because I think parents and would be parents want to know this information.
They want to know how the school they send their child to every day is performing.
They want to know how to make things better for their child.
They want to make a difference.
For myself, I looked at the data and when I saw results for my child's school that I wasn't thrilled with, my first thought was for my child and how could I help them.
As parents we are, and should be the first port of call for our children. It makes me very cranky when parents abnegate responsibility for their child's education once they reach school age.
Because at the end of the day, teachers can only do so much.
Do you hear that?
They can only do so much.
I know.
I used to be one.
There are some appalling teachers in our system. I've worked with some. If we look at the ease with which students can obtain entry into teaching then we can see that by setting our standards so low for entry, we are setting ourselves up, no, we are setting our children up to fail.
We have to do better than this.
If your child's school is failing on every area, then the management of the school needs close scrutiny. And it needs meaningful and useful funding from our Federal Government to ensure that your child isn't failed by a system that's meant to serve it well.
They have to do better than this.
If your child's school is failing in one or two areas then go see the teacher. Find out what they are doing to address the issue. Find out what YOU can do to support your child. I swear by the SchoolZone books sold at Target. For the bargain price of $4.00 I taught my daughter her alphabet and basic word recognition.
Because you, as a parent have to do better.
You have to be an advocate for your child. If they are struggling at school for whatever reason, you need to be their voice.
I am mystified as to why people are up in arms about this site. They say NAPLAN isn't a good indicator of a child's ability. Having helped create a marks scheme for NAPLAN in the past I can tell you the hours of agonising that goes into ensuring every childs work is deemed to have meaning. It's not a perfect indicator, but I can tell you, it's a pretty comprehensive one. Having marked various school test papers I have been almost bought to tears by the appalling work I've marked. Class upon class where I can see children being totally and utterly failed by a system supposed to make their lives better.
And that's why I for one am pleased this site went live.
Because our children deserve better.
And so do you.