I must admit I was feeling kind of smug about the whole adventure I had planned for my offspring. On a moment of impulse (madness) I’d booked us to take a little boat trip round the ‘Middle of Nowhere’ on our little holiday.
The brochure showed lovely photos of wildlife and sandy beaches and I’d thought it would be a gentle little trip for us all to enjoy.
Win win all round.
So on the day in question I wore a jaunty little striped shirt, red scarf and white trousers. I was ship ahoy ready. I knew Nikki at Styling You would approve.
The first inkling something was wrong was the uncertain looks the captain of the very wee ship shot at my offspring when we arrived at the jetty.
‘Will they be okay with the, you know?’ shooting a meaningful glance in my direction.
‘Of course they will!’ I replied brightly. I had no clue what he was talking about but assumed it might be the overwhelming plethora of wildlife my offspring were about to be treated to.
Alarm bells started ringing when we got on board and were all given one of these to wear.

And then went to Defcom 5 when, as we sedately made our way out of the bay were told the tragic tale of the Titanic. I was already pretty familiar with the narrative thanks to Leo and Kate but the offspring listened with great interest.
The speaker rounded off the gloomy tale by saying ‘of course that happened in 1912 and it’s almost impossible to sink a boat now especially with the advances we’ve made in technology.”
With my fantasy of a gentle trail around the island disappearing, we took off. I mean literally, took off.
It was like riding a rollercoaster. I kept glancing across to see if Miss Medium had been washed away as we dipped and dived across insane waves.
Instead of being clenched with terror to her chair she was shrieking with glee.
In fact she even raised both hands in the air. You know so the dips and swoops would be even more powerful.
So I joined in.
I don’t think my kids detected my shrieks were ones of terror rather than pure joy.

And seeing a mother and her baby dolphin towards the end of it more than made up for the angst I endured.
In fact, I think we’ll do it again next year.
Have you ever booked something without knowing what you were really in for?



As I write this I do so under the forlorn gaze of Mr Moo.
Mr Moo is my son's class cow and he has come to stay with us for the weekend.
Wonderful.
Right now I have a toddler who REFUSES TO NAP and whose favourite party trick is to strip naked whenever things don't go his way, leaving me blushing in his bare buttocked wake. Add in an overtired five year old and a 7 year old who just lost his front tooth with school photos next week. Well, a cow is just what I needed.
This is no ordinary cow I hasten to add.
No, Mr Moo needs ENTERTAINING.
He needs to be taken to see the sights of this fair city and have his photo taken with all and sundry.
I'm not entirely sure how to cope with the pressure. This was meant to be a quiet weekend. I'm supposed to be getting packing and organised. We are going away next week and my head is filled with mental lists that get filled alarmingly quickly and then disappear from my overloaded subconscious.
I've got a couple of articles to write this week but now I need to work on filling out the class book aptly entitled: "The adventures of Mr Moo."
Truthfully my son needs to write them but I'm his self appointed ghost writer. I'm free and have all the time in the world apparently.
The trouble is I need to create his adventures and I'm stuck.
How does one entertain a cow?
I suggested we bring him to Nippers but apparently he's scared of water. I thought he might enjoy a drink down at the pub but he's not of legal drinking age.
In order not to let the side down I need to take Mr Moo special places and capture the memories for posterity.
If you have time please leave a comment welcoming Mr Moo to our family for the weekend. I can add it to his scrapbook.
So where should I take and lose Mr Moo?
And I will of course choose the best one and blog about it next week.
I have to say I never in my life thought I'd be writing about a cow.
Life is very peculiar indeed.
If you had a cow joining you for the weekend where would you go?