But on Melbourne Cup Days, the tables are turned. Offices shut up shop and put on Melbourne Cup events. Paper cups, cheese cubes and $2 sweeps right though to sit down corporate box events. People can scour the shops for hours to find wonderful outfits. I saw some amazing looking chicks getting onto the bus to the city this morning, with several of them already sipping from piccolos.
But SAHM's with school aged kids get a raw deal on cup day. (unless you live in Melbourne, then it is on for young and old). I am sitting here, in my trackies and uggies (did you know Dunlop make uggies? Bliss) with a HUGE FUCKING HOT PINK HAT ON MY HEAD. And come 3pm, when most Racegoers are working themselves up to a fever pitch, pissed or pashing off the mail guy at work, I will be taking my pink hatted head up to the bus stop to collect kids. Because some turd who organises these things figured out that the time the race is run should coincide with the time kids get out of school. You are an asshole.
I am also watching/listening to Channel 7 all day, and the only thing I really want is a Lavazza Coffee on board an Emirates A380 Plane. Preferably sitting in between Johanna Griggs and Fifi Box. But I am glad I am not there today, becuase I do not know what I would do if I ran into Jennifer Hawkins wearing kitten ears.
One year, I am going to go the the Melbourne Cup, even if I have to strap myself to the back of a large goose and point it south. And when I am there, I am going to get shit-faced and go on the slip and slide in the rain. But I am not going to do it in a strapless dress.
Happy Melbourne Cup Day!
