For a mummy-blogger, I sure do post about Bogans a lot. 7 times in fact. Some could say I am a tad obsessed with my heritage??? Ken Oath......
See Dad, I told you I would put you on the blog!And I believe my expertise helped when I fashioned this quiz for Babble On a few months back, so people can see where they fit on the bogan scale.
The first time you got pissed was
a)At your 18th Birthday Party with your parents on 2 glasses of wine
b)After skulling a hip flask of vodka at a Blue Light Disco
c)After skulling rocket fuel at the skate ramp
Your First Celebrity Crush was
a)Prince Andrew
b)Simon le Bon
c)Ozzie Osbourne
You have tattoos…..
a)Nowhere and think they are disgusting
b)A small butterfly on your ankle
c)A tramp stamp featuring a dolphin smoking a bong surrounded by frangipanis as well as your 7 kids names down your arms along with their full birth dates. And your eyebrows are tattooed on. Also a bit of bright blue eyeliner. But that is it for this year.
At your wedding you wore…
a)A Joanna Johnson gown
b)A crystal covered strapless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park.
c)A crystal covered strapless and backless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park with elbow length white gloves
Your Ideal meal would be…
a)Italian in Norton Street
b)BBQ in the Backyard
c)McDonalds Family Dinner Box in the car.
Please circle the correct spelling
a)Tiffany
b)Tiffani
c)Typhanee
Ed Hardy is
a)Who?
b)Pretty Bad
c)A fucking genius
Your Ideal Man
a)is caring, supportive and shares your values and beliefs
b)has a good job and is a good dad
c)is hung like a donkey, the last one standing at a keg party, nearly always calls you the correct name and loves Jim Beam, Ed Hardy and Tatts.
If you score mostly A, you are not a bogan. But I do suspect that you’re extremely dull and only ever do it in the Missionary Position and never eat carbs after 10am.
Mostly B’s? Where the majority fit in. Welcome. You understand the principals of boganism and are aware when you start to drift towards the line. You are able to self-check your actions and smarten up your act a bit. Although you still get a bit feral when you hear Metallica.
And my lovely ancestral sisters who find themselves in the C group. Thank God for you, but why are you either super runty skinny or morbidly obese? You make life colourful, give us unique spellings, keep the piercing industry in business and make sure you are heard wherever you go. The world needs folk like you. Do not change. The only thing I ask is please stop wearing leggings as pants.
a)At your 18th Birthday Party with your parents on 2 glasses of wine
b)After skulling a hip flask of vodka at a Blue Light Disco
c)After skulling rocket fuel at the skate ramp
Your First Celebrity Crush was
a)Prince Andrew
b)Simon le Bon
c)Ozzie Osbourne
You have tattoos…..
a)Nowhere and think they are disgusting
b)A small butterfly on your ankle
c)A tramp stamp featuring a dolphin smoking a bong surrounded by frangipanis as well as your 7 kids names down your arms along with their full birth dates. And your eyebrows are tattooed on. Also a bit of bright blue eyeliner. But that is it for this year.
At your wedding you wore…
a)A Joanna Johnson gown
b)A crystal covered strapless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park.
c)A crystal covered strapless and backless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park with elbow length white gloves
Your Ideal meal would be…
a)Italian in Norton Street
b)BBQ in the Backyard
c)McDonalds Family Dinner Box in the car.
Please circle the correct spelling
a)Tiffany
b)Tiffani
c)Typhanee
Ed Hardy is
a)Who?
b)Pretty Bad
c)A fucking genius
Your Ideal Man
a)is caring, supportive and shares your values and beliefs
b)has a good job and is a good dad
c)is hung like a donkey, the last one standing at a keg party, nearly always calls you the correct name and loves Jim Beam, Ed Hardy and Tatts.
If you score mostly A, you are not a bogan. But I do suspect that you’re extremely dull and only ever do it in the Missionary Position and never eat carbs after 10am.
Mostly B’s? Where the majority fit in. Welcome. You understand the principals of boganism and are aware when you start to drift towards the line. You are able to self-check your actions and smarten up your act a bit. Although you still get a bit feral when you hear Metallica.
And my lovely ancestral sisters who find themselves in the C group. Thank God for you, but why are you either super runty skinny or morbidly obese? You make life colourful, give us unique spellings, keep the piercing industry in business and make sure you are heard wherever you go. The world needs folk like you. Do not change. The only thing I ask is please stop wearing leggings as pants.
I was actually starting to consider myself quite the expert when I stumbled upon this nifty website http://www.thingsboganslike.com/ . So now I am addicted to it. I hope they can come up with a patch.
