I am just not sure any of us are getting our money's worth from the Pope's Visit so far. He has done bugger all. If you look at this photo - i swear he is saying "Fuck You Sydney - I am really enjoying my "rest"". - Or else he is thinking some very evil thoughts. This image reminds me of Belgian Sex Fiends you read about in the paper - you know the ones who have done something really heinous that they do not report the full story. Or an evil sorcerer, or an ad for erectile dysfunction. Anyway, he is here hanging out in Kenthust in a daggy old conference centre walking around the garden while the surrounding bushland is full of snipers..... mmmmmm relaxing!

And rest he should! There are thousands of pilgrims (fancy word for tourist) in our city. I have become a little obsessed and would like to share some of my findings about pilgrims from my recent walk around the city.

• Travel in packs and favour backpacks and flags
• Spontaneously sing and clap
• LOVE pubic transport LOVE it
• Eat McDonald's - ironically slim though apart from the Americans and the Aussies.
• Look happy and confused all within a 14 second time frame
• Are not really sure where they are walking to and why - if confused stop and sing a bit.
• Can be found EVERYWHERE - not just in the city. Suburbs like Plumpton and Penrith are also spreading the hospitality.

I do admire them for a few things though - being that happy all day would be great without illicit substances. Cheaper.

The 3 sub-species of pilgrim.

The common dork variety

Travel in large organised packs lead by a creepy older 50 something man who is delighted to be put in charge. These pilgrims wear high waisted jeans, large jumpers in a fetching colourful pattern, trainers, bum bags or backpacks, very bad hair and/or skin and a flag around their shoulders. Like to sing, look confused and eat McDonald's. these are the majority.

The hot Italian Variety

Travel in smaller groups. Do not require a chaperone. Wear ray-bans and cooler jeans with a nice jacket and loafers. Look less friendly, almost like their catholic families back home have forced them to come. I suspect they are delighted though as i think they are all shagging each other at the Travel Lodge come nightfall. Like to sneer, drink Starbucks and generally look cool while they fashion their flag into a neat scarf rather than the superman tie favoured by the Dork Variety. Rarer to spot.

Nuns

Easy to spot - old and smiling. I cannot take the piss too much or my Irish Catholic Grandma will roll in her grave. No Flag.

So there you have it - my thoughts on World Youth Day. I am waiting for World Mid Thirty Angry Woman Day - I will wear my flag with pride while singing "Love to Love you Baby" as I scoff my Big Mac in my tracksuit pants - now that is something to Celebrate!