A recent issue of Newsweek said it all: "The Dieter's Dilemma: People Will Try Almost Anything to Lose Weight. Really."

It was a lighthearted look at some of the currently fashionable fad diets--and, believe it or not, Atkins and Low-Carb didn't make the list, which means some small inroad into acceptability, I guess.

So, since I'm lollygagging around the last few months, are there any of these to capture my interest and get me back on track?

The Astrology Diet. In which your diet and exercise type are dictated by your astrological sign. I'm a Taurus, so, according to diet developers Ellen Barrett (a trainer) and Barrie Dolnick (an astrologer), I find great pleasure in eating so a restrictive diet will not work with me, and I thrive on "gentle but thorough" workouts, preferably at home. Yeah, well, okay.

The Blood Type Diet. Peter D'Amato's theory that what you eat should be dictated by your blood type. The popularity, Newsweek surmises, is that it makes people think it's more personalized. Which is all fine and good, I say, until you realize that 72% of Americans and Europeans have either O+ or A+ blood types, so how personalized can it be, really?

Single Food Diets are making a comeback. Grapefruit diet, cabbage soup diet, pineapple diet, popcorn diet. Been there, done that.

Detox Diets, popular these days, theorize that cleansing out your system is good for you and good for your weight. But, really. "Cleansing with Colonics," called for by diets like 21 Pounds in 21 Days, means, quite simply, enemas. Let 'em stick that diet where the sun don't shine.

The Maple-Syrup Diet, made famous by Beyonce, who used it to trim down for "Dreamgirls." Dieters drink 2 Tbsp maple syrup, 2 Tbsp lemon juice, a pinch of cayenne pepper and a cup of water, several times a day. Uh, no.

Remember? I'm Taurus. I find great pleasure in eating.