Usually this space is reserved for idiotic new food products--you know, like Life cereal with "chocolatey" bits or strangely colored, sugar-free Peeps.

But today I want to talk about a new cell phone. Specifically, the sleek and attractively slim Philips 598.

Designed for women, the phone has all the features we modern women like to have at hand 24/7: shopping lists, discount sale organizers, body weight index....

Whaaa??????

Yes, the phone has BMI and basal metabolic rate measurements built in.

I'm envisioning it all now. I've downloaded the old Dave Edmunds song "Girl You Let the Knife and Fork Dig Your Grave" and am using it as my ringtone. As the song's verse intones "...wearing a size 44, you have to turn sideways to get through the door" my new phone flashes my BMI just in case I forgot since my last phone call.

And, I have to wonder, what is the male version of this? Prostate dimensions? Beer gut measurement?

I mean, really. Who thinks of this stuff?