I felt I had to put this post up, especially after reading this post from Jill http://averittbabyjourney.blogspot.com/2009/01/rest-of-story.html because it is important to balance the good with the bad.
Without the loss of this friendship:(see previous post)
I would never have discovered so many amazing woman in the blogging world.
I would never have regained contact with Carly,http://scarletriver26.blogspot.com/ a former student, who in so many ways, has become a teacher to me.
I would never have received beautiful pictures honouring my baby brother with his name in the sand.
I also need to share this story.
Shortly after I joined Weight Watchers I met a beautiful woman at it. She only needed to lose half the weight I did. She was a gentle, quiet lady, who in many ways reminded me of my friend.
Once, I mentioned a particularly sleepless night with my youngest, and her eyes welled with tears.
"Oh I would love to have that." she said. "I would love to have someone wake me at night, needing me."
As chance would have it, she was on the same journey as my old friend.
Because I wasn't a work colleague, or a friend at that time, she confided in me, and because I had learnt so much by then, I understood.
I listened.
We ended up becoming great friends. We walk together each weekend, we share stories.( We both talk longingly of food, especially our shared passion for nachos and chocolate and how many points it all is!) I was there for her when two rounds of IVF failed, and I was the second person (after her husband of course!) she told when the third round worked.
We will share stroller walks together when her baby is born later this year (Please God).
So the loss of this friendship has opened up a great deal more to me.
It has also taught me not to ask friends of a similar age if they are planning on starting a family, because chances are, if they haven't already, then they are probably having problems and don't want to talk about it. If they do, they will. But if they don't mention it, then I have learned to be sensitive enough not to ask.
I have made peace with myself.
My yoga instructor said I have journeyed a long way in the past year, he has seen me not only find balance physically ( he has seen me transform down several dress sizes and become alot more flexible in the process!) but mentally I am calmer and more focused.
I will go to the party of course.
Because I know what it means to be a friend.