I felt I had to put this post up, especially after reading this post from Jill http://averittbabyjourney.blogspot.com/2009/01/rest-of-story.html because it is important to balance the good with the bad.
Without the loss of this friendship:(see previous post)
I would never have discovered so many amazing woman in the blogging world.
I would never have regained contact with Carly,http://scarletriver26.blogspot.com/ a former student, who in so many ways, has become a teacher to me.
I would never have received beautiful pictures honouring my baby brother with his name in the sand.
I also need to share this story.
Shortly after I joined Weight Watchers I met a beautiful woman at it. She only needed to lose half the weight I did. She was a gentle, quiet lady, who in many ways reminded me of my friend.
Once, I mentioned a particularly sleepless night with my youngest, and her eyes welled with tears.
"Oh I would love to have that." she said. "I would love to have someone wake me at night, needing me."
As chance would have it, she was on the same journey as my old friend.
Because I wasn't a work colleague, or a friend at that time, she confided in me, and because I had learnt so much by then, I understood.
I listened.
We ended up becoming great friends. We walk together each weekend, we share stories.( We both talk longingly of food, especially our shared passion for nachos and chocolate and how many points it all is!) I was there for her when two rounds of IVF failed, and I was the second person (after her husband of course!) she told when the third round worked.
We will share stroller walks together when her baby is born later this year (Please God).
So the loss of this friendship has opened up a great deal more to me.
It has also taught me not to ask friends of a similar age if they are planning on starting a family, because chances are, if they haven't already, then they are probably having problems and don't want to talk about it. If they do, they will. But if they don't mention it, then I have learned to be sensitive enough not to ask.
I have made peace with myself.
My yoga instructor said I have journeyed a long way in the past year, he has seen me not only find balance physically ( he has seen me transform down several dress sizes and become alot more flexible in the process!) but mentally I am calmer and more focused.
I will go to the party of course.
Because I know what it means to be a friend.

Well, it is time to come out of the quiet period. The rabbit died, Steph is knocked up and we're having a baby. Steph's almost 12 weeks and she's due on 3/29/2008.

Holy shit, what did I get myself into here?

So, if you were wondering about this, it was a reference to one of the Dixie Chick's difficulties in conceiving and having to go through IVF to have children. We too went through 2.5 years of trying to get pregnant, including various fertility treatments and 3 rounds of IVF. Turns out the IVF was completely unnecessary and that our doctor didn't know her ass from her elbow. Let's just say that evidence based medicine was not in her vocabulary. (More on this soon when I have time to write further on this topic and other reasons why the fertility clinic at Crawford Long Hospital isn't a place any man or woman should ever visit.)

After switching to RBA and meeting with Dr. Shapiro — he successfully helped friends get preggo through IVF — we learned that we wasted a lot of time and money. Three weeks of antibiotics was the remedy to our infertility problems. Six weeks later we got knocked up. Think of all the time and money we wasted. Yup, thousands of dollars down the drain and we could have resolve our problems with less than $100 worth of doxycycline. Yes, I am pissed, but there is not a damn thing I can do about it now. Besides, we're just ecstatic that a new phase of our life has begun!

More to come later with specifics and advice for those seeking fertility treatments.