Euphoric over surging oil and gas profits, and soaring on the wings of rising greenhouse gas emissions, Calgary is celebrating its booming economy with plans to pop the country's second largest boner.

Today, Encana announced its $1 billion plan to construct a 59 storey office tower in downtown Calgary. The tower will be the tallest office building west of Toronto and serve to further masturbate Calgary's ego, as city politicians and business leaders alike celebrate their bulging pockets and increasing intimacy with American markets.

But despite widespread celebration of Encana's plans, the announcement put Prime Minister Harper in a tough bind. Though a staunch defender of Alberta's right to pollute, the masturbatory implications of Calgary's impending woody have put him at odds with his religious supporters.

"This is a good plan approach for Calgary.", said the PM, "I mean, its not like it looks like a gay erection or anything."

Construction starts next year, with doors slated to open in 2010.