You know how there are players who, for whatever reason, don't get cards? And how other players get more than one card in the same set? Inexplicably, Oliver Perez fits into neither of these categories, though a strong case could be made for both.

Why Oliver Perez Deserves More Than One Card: Okay, really the only way Perez would ever get two cards in one set is if Topps made a subset called Underwhelming and Overpaid. The Perez, Gil Meche, Hiroki Kuroda, and Gary Matthews, Jr., fan clubs would squeal with delight over a special card, that would also come in a special premium parallel made of curved, mealy cardboard.

Why Oliver Perez Deserves Zero Cards: He makes $4,938.27 for every strike he throws this season. Oh wait, he's on the DL and can't throw strikes anyway.

WEAK PULL!!!

Too much of the hobby is centered on the "great pull": Autographed jersey cards, cards dipped in gold, and other "case hit" cards that get the random collector in the pages of Beckett Sports Monthly. I'm kind of sick of reading about all the lucky readers who were "smart" enough to plunk down another bazillion dollars for a high-risk box of Upper Deck Blood Diamond... seriously, why didn't Upper Deck come up with a product with that name? I can see it: Parallel versions in silver, gold, saran wrap, and super-ultra-rare cards bedazzled in red diamonds.

Thus, the inaugural edition of Weak Pull!!!, where I highlight the crappiest card of a given pack. Today, I was lucky enough to pull this card of David DeJesus from a pack of Topps T206, which only cost $4.

Ugh!